


(I Wanna Be Your) Trophy Husband

by shiptoomuch



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Engagement, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-31
Updated: 2016-07-31
Packaged: 2018-07-28 12:04:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7639501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shiptoomuch/pseuds/shiptoomuch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Trophy <em>boyfriend,”</em> Bitty corrects.</p><p>Jack furrows his eyebrows and presses his lips together thoughtfully. “You’re right. We’re going to have to fix that,”</p>
            </blockquote>





	(I Wanna Be Your) Trophy Husband

“It appears that Eric Bittle, the very man who overthrew Paula Deen’s hold on southern cooking, who recently guest starred on _Crazy Ex-Girlfriend_ (and sang a wonderful duet with Santino Fontana), America’s unanimously voted sweetheart, has a new beau! And because this is Eric BIttle, he’s a complete and total babe,” Lardo reads from the listicle, _Ten Reasons Eric BIttle’s Boyfriend is the Ultimate Hunk._

“Oh my god.” Bitty can’t hold back his giggles as she reads through the reasons, most of which are simply poetic reflections on Jack’s musculature. “They do realize that he’s an Olympic gold medalist, right? That he’s not just some guy I picked up at the gym?”

Lardo glances up at him from her phone and raises an eyebrow. “To be fair, he is a guy that you picked up at the gym.” She reaches forward and snatches a cookie from the plate in front of her before Bitty can swat her hand away for insolence. “And you did introduce yourself only after complimenting his ass.”

Bitty sputters and claps a hand over his chest. “I merely commented on how the squat regimen he was doing seemed to be working! I didn’t compliment his ass!”

“And it was, what? Twenty minutes later that you were bringing him back here?” Lardo quirks an eyebrow up at him in a way that says she knows the answer. (Of course she knows, Bitty has told her everything about that day.)

“All we did was talk over pie!” Bitty throws his hands up in the air. “Also, what is this talk of a _new beau?_ We told everyone that we’ve been dating for the last two years!”

“Yes, but Jack only just came out. In the eyes of the world, you two just got together,” Lardo points out, spraying cookie crumbs all over the counter that Bitty _just cleaned._

Jack strolls into the kitchen just then, shirt sticking to his chest with sweat. He grabs a water bottle from the fridge and downs half of it easily. Bitty really does love post-run Jack. “Lards, you’re dirtying our home again.”

Bitty leans up on his tiptoes to kiss Jack and loves the way he smiles against his mouth. “I was just thinking the same thing, honey.”

Lardo rolls her eyes and wipes the crumbs off of the counter. She swallows the rest of her cookie and shoots a dirty look at Bitty. “Is that better?”

“On the floor is not better!” Bitty exclaims. He waves his arms to shoo her out of the kitchen. She takes the plate of cookies with her and saunters into the living room.

“I’m gunna use your ridiculously large TV, I hope that’s okay!”

“Honestly, fuck you Duan. If you get any crumbs on my rug, you are vacuuming.” Bitty leans into Jack’s chest with a sigh and shakes his head. “We need better friends,” he mumbles into Jack’s chest. He doesn’t even cringe away from the slightly damp feeling of Jack’s sweat against his skin. 

“I missed you,” Jack whispers into Bitty’s hair, pressing a kiss there afterwards. 

“You were only gone for an hour on your run,” Bitty responds, even though he knows that’s not what Jack’s talking about.

Jack hums and shakes his head, face still buried in Bitty’s hair. “I was gone for a week before that in Montreal. And I always miss you.”

“I missed you too,” Bitty whispers into his chest, “I always miss you.”

“Is it because I’m the _ultimate hunk?”_ Jack asks in a voice that is so serious that Bitty almost doesn’t catch it for the joke that it is. 

He gasps and swats Jack on the pectoral. “Oh my god, stop! Those articles are so ridiculous.”

Jack laughs and pulls back to lean down and kiss Bitty on the lips. “I kinda like it. I’m proud of you, Bits. Always will be.”

“Yes, but they don’t have to push your achievements to the side in order to appreciate me,” Bitty argues back, crossing his arms over his chest. “You’re not some kind of Trophy Husband.”

Jack tilts his head to the side and hums. “Trophy husband. I kind of like the sound of that.”

“Trophy _boyfriend,”_ Bitty corrects.

Jack furrows his eyebrows and presses his lips together thoughtfully. “You’re right. We’re going to have to fix that,” he says before wandering away, presumably to shower.

Bitty is left standing in his kitchen with no idea what the fuck his life has become.

-

Bitty is wearing a three thousand dollar tux and drinking champagne that is more expensive than some people’s entire wardrobes. He is completely aware of how ridiculous this event is. Honestly, they spend so much money to raise money, that a lot of the money raised tonight won’t even go to the children they’re trying to help.

But he promised the network people that he would be here, so here he is. Plus, he was allowed to bring guests, which means Lardo, Shitty, and most importantly, Jack. Jack who just so happens to look absolutely _fantastic_ in a tux. Bitty has been trailing a few steps behind him for the majority of the evening for this very reason.

“The thing is, Lardo, I’m pretty sure he’s going to propose soon. Which is good. Great, even! I’d just like to know _when_ he’s going to do it. I keep thinking it’s coming, but then it never does.”

Lardo simply shrugs and downs the rest of her champagne, reaching for Bitty’s glass directly afterwards. “Maybe bring it up to him? I mean, you two are pretty good about that whole open communication thing.”

“You’re right.” Bitty hands over his glass to her and walks over to where Jack is schmoozing with the head of some company or other. He grabs him by the elbow and smiles apologetically at the man. “Excuse me, I just need a moment with Jack, if that’s alright?”

The man smiles and nods graciously. “Of course. I’ll speak with you again soon, hopefully.”

“Of course,” Jack says with a small smile and a mirrored nod.

Bitty drags him out onto the balcony of the hotel ballroom and off to the side. Jack looks bewildered, to say the least, but lets himself be manhandled. “Bits, is everything alright?”

Bitty opens and closes his mouth searching for words before finally settling on, “Why haven’t you proposed to me yet?”

Jack’s mouth falls open. He’s apparently speechless for a few beats before finally regaining the power of speech. “What? I was waiting for your birthday. I mean, I’ve thought about doing it earlier but I just…haven’t?”

“Jack, you’re so hot and I just want to show off that my trophy boyfriend is going to be my trophy husband, why don’t you get that?” Bitty whines, tilting forward dangerously.

Jack chuckles and steadies him with a hand on his waist. “You’ve had too much champagne.”

“And you’ve had too much…fucking squats,” Bitty murmurs weakly. He’s definitely more tipsy than he had first estimated.

Jack is entertained by it, at least. He laughs and cups a hand on Bitty’s cheek. “Marry me?” He fishes into his pocket and pulls out a black box. “I love you so much, you’re ridiculous and beautiful and pushy and I just…marry me?”

Bitty smiles and shoves the ring onto his finger with a greedy enthusiasm. “Oh hell yeah.”


End file.
